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I want to break the cycle of my family..what do I do?
My heart really aches to know that I am normal and will one day feel no pain or regret for the childhood myself and my siblings have had, or the chaos addiction has wreaked on my entire family.My grandmother's first husband was an alcoholic. My grandmother and mother were subjected to lives of fear and worry for almost 15 years... until my grandmother finally left. My mother chose my father.. a drug addict.. and she passed when we were all very young. We were left to grow up without much guidance and lingering memories of all kinds of things a child just should never know. Now, my brothers and I all smoke pot, but nothing else. No alcohol really, no hard drugs... I think this is a biproduct of my father's addiction. . in a way weed is not harmful but at the same time it does change your perception of things. We have all made it further educationally than our parents did. We suffer in different ways.. my older brother is angry inside and I'm not sure he knows how much he is loved. My younger brother has almost identical anger issues, physical violence with his girlfriend, and a sense of not caring much about consequence. I have a 13 year old sister of the same father, who i met just last year, who's mother is a recovered addict. My sister feels like no one hears her and she is growing up alone. I recently had her visit me i am 30 for a week.. to try my best to let her know I am not like the family she has known and that at all times I love her, understand her, and will be here... she's so innocent.. just like we were years ago. I have issues in my own relationship. I was 2 years into it before my partner admitted her mother was an alcoholic. I feel because of her own past, she triggers my fears. I want to love her, to help us both get out of this cycle, but she seems to have some of her mother's abusive language traits and I fear she may pick up more serious hurtful tendencies as time passes.I don't want to live in fear of always feeling like I am alone. I know I am loved by family and friends but at the end of the day I struggle with insecurities and yearning for unconditional love. How do I stop this???? I want to finish college and be the first in my family to do so. I think counselling may help me also. I want to have a healthy relationship where there is communication, trust, and understanding...where I know they will not hurt me. I want to be less critical of people and more open to forgiveness i have a hard time with . I am having relationship issues and this contributes to my mood now.. usually I am a happy, optimistic, sincere, smart, caring woman... but when issues arise this dark side comes out and I want to feel like I have the foundation in my life to know that these fears are not valid. I'm tired of being hurt by memories and people.. i deserve so much more.. How have you coped if you feel the same sometimes, or what can I do to get the pain out once and for all???

I'm looking for an american family by the name of Kirschna, Kirschner?
Hi, me and my mother are looking for a lovely jewish american family known as the " Kirschnas" Not too sure about the spelling . My mother worked for them as a housekeeper maid for them in their house in Streamstown, county Westmeath, Ireland. They had a lovely daughter by the name of " Dana" who was quite unfortunately epileptic, and another daughter by the name of Courtney. They moved back to america after a while because, as far as I know, Courtney wanted to study in Harvard. If I remember correctly they had a fair amount of money and made absolutely delicious brownies that my mother ofter brought home for us to eat. I also remember that I the maids son got on well with Dana, and that they had I think two or three pugs at the time they were living in Ireland. My mothers name is Mary, and my name is Ian, if that helps in any way. According to my mother, Mr. Kirschna Kirschner sold the brownies in a local farmers market in Athlone under the name of New York Brownies, and sold them all across Ireland. Thank you in advance for any help Ian

How to deal with feelings of jealousy in family?
I am a very self consious person and i often feel terrible about myself my friends say i have terribly low self esteem . my sister is physically perfect shes 15 im 16 and is very sociable something which i have a hard time with. Don't give me tips on how to be more social though, because that is not the help I am looking for. she just makes me feel terrible about myself even though she is so sweet and never says anything mean. just that im so jeaous of her. Basically, her life is perfect in every way. She has been in a perfect and idyllic relationship for over three years, whereas my relationships have always been short and ended in ways so bad that they only lowered my self esteem even more. Even at school she's perfect. On top of that pretty much everyone loves her and goes on and on about what a lovely girl she is. Before you start judging me, know that I have grown up with my parents and all my relatives constantly showing clear favoritism to her, and I am a sensitive person so it has naturally affected me and made me extremely jealous of her over the years. But now this jealousy is becoming poisonous, and I have even noticed that it gives me feelings of self gratification whenever I hurt her feelings. I am so consumed in this jealousy that I often say hateful things to her also. I truly feel bad about what I am doing, but I cannot help it. And on top of that I know she truly cares about my happiness, whereas I am only jealous of her and want to see her unhappy for once. What can I do to stop these feelings of jealousy? Please help me, I have even started getting suicidal thoughts lately. And don't say go to a doctor, I have kept these feelings pent up inside of myself for years and do not want to alarm my family members. Please try to understand this from my perspective before criticizing me...and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Is it mean that I hate my family?
It's the most ridiculous set of random people ever. I live completely isolated on a different continent here in US, but whenever I get a call from my mom, it's always about how she hates my dad my sister and then the rant continues. If i ignore her calls, she starts calling even more. My father is just one ignorant inconsiderate person and my sister got divorced last year and all of them live together. I feel like I am the only sane person in the family but they don't let me live in peace. They are also driving my young sis crazy. She deserves better and I dont want her to end up like rest of them. God, I really hate that I was born in that circus.Btw I am 26 yrs old guy.

How to propose a close family friend through chat?
i luv her but scared to propose her face to face as well through chat . I meet her 2 3 times a year but chat daily. I am scared coz our parents are good friends help me

Have to move but no money, can't ask family ?


How to tell and convince my family about my second marriage?
Hi I m an Indian girl.I got married last year with my families wishes and that guy was not interested to marry me and he eventually married me under his parents pressure only to dump me on our first night of wedding.He simply went away and marriage never consummated.I was left helpless and abandoned by him and his family.He reppeared after 3 months to tell me he wants a divorce.Now one year has passed and I m staying alone at a place where I m working and my so called husband has gone abroad.I have filed for divorce and awaiting the court's decision.He would never come I know.In the meanwhile one of my colleagues is there,he is a very good friend and he has a similar story.His wife married him at her family's behest and he tried his best to make things work but they didnt.He has two kids and they stay with him and his parents only.He is a nice guy.He has proposed me and asked me if I would like to be his partner.He said that its upto me to think over it as we both cant afford to fail the second time.After much thought and almost a year I have decided to get married to him.I have taken every thing into account and have not gone emotional about it.I have gone through alot in my life and I think I would have a good life partner in him inspite of the fact that he is divorced and has two kids.It may appear foolish to all readers but I seriously feel so and I cant describe it to everyone in this smalll space of text.Now I need all you guys help to tell me how to break this news to my Family especially my Mother?They would oppose it thats natural but I want to know how to convince them without creating a scene.I just know one thing both of us that guy and me have taken every thing into consideration every single thing and both our intentions are good and we would make best possible efforts to make our marriage work.Lastly instead of having a live in or affair both of us want to get married.And I know I m right.Can you guys help me with suggestions how to tell my family.????Pls pls

What to do if a family member is trying to destroy your world around you?
Hi there is a family member that is trying to cause problems any way she can and one of the ways lately has been calling human services on my husband & I for a child protection concern. This is not the 1st time because we know that she has had human services at our door in the past. Now my mother in law has a disabled adult child in a wheel chair so she requires home health care. Ok..well needless to say the person that is causing all of us undue grief is a home health care nurse and she is working inside my mother in laws house. This nasty person has human services & home health care on her side because of her work credentials. Also she is worming her way around by making everyone feel sorry for her because she has lupus. My mother in law has been diagnosed with stomach cancer and now thanks to this lovely person....she has made it so we can not visit my husbands mom that may be dieing of cancer and also we can not go into her house for her birthday in two days because this is the way that this trouble making person has it set up through home care Please help us someone........

Sir my father is against me nd my family because of my brother nd his wife is it work 2 my father if i try?
my father gave every thing 2 my brother he always play politics 2 my family nd hurt our feeling daily

What's the best way to deal with manipulative family members?
I want to move out but I can't. I'm stressed and fed up in general of being limited continuously and from being hurt. I understand that there's a lot to be grateful for, but I keep seeing these incredibly painful fights that start over petty things. I dont want to be spied on, I dont want to be controlled, i dont want to become narrowminded ....i feel as if i've lost everything too with other things in life too. I used to lean on friends but my family is racist and doesnt allow me to keep friendships with people of other faiths cultures. So my friendships are secret as well and it's frustrating and difficult to keep strong ties.Is there any technique that'll stop me from being so stressed and that will allow me to think clearly till i'm capable of moving out which they plan on stopping me from doing ...I just want them to stop getting at me...I'm grateful for any kind adviceI didn't mention It's indirect manipulation. Things such as guilt tripping or not allowing me to sleep or disconnecting the internet when I'm trying to work. Or giving me a lot of housework while they relax...They would never admit that they're racist...or anything thats bad...it's subtle and indirectand blackmail

Higher class than my bf family..need help!?
I come from a better financial & educational background than my bf's family this dont bother me but they seem to think that my natural genuine nice nature is fake & just an act They seem to think i think i am better than them when this is far from the case. I am very prim & proper & i act like a lady & have manners, im very plain Jane and like my nice dresses, bag, clothes & shoes & i like to pamper myself, i have a good career as a secretary and earn good money yet im very down to earth I dont act or think im better than anyone.We do struggle with it comes to conversation as we dont have much in common, so other than talking about general current events or tv programmes conversation dries up..i try to get to know them but they think im just being nosey & when i talk about things i like such a reading or films i like they turn their nose up..when we have realised we have similiar views on certain subjects they just think i am agreeing with them cos im brown nosing and that its all fake...not sure what i should do?

Situation with my son, my family, and my ex. Need advice and opinions?
My brother and his wife stuck their noses in my business with my ex whom I have a child with. They tracked her down and showed up at her house trying to see my son behind my back and told her I was saying nasty things about her, which in turn caused her to be mad at me without even asking if they were true statements. My ex allowed my son to go with them a few times because they made it seem like they really wanted to see him, instead of seeing my son through me when he comes to visit me. When I contronted them they denied everything, and said they have rights to my son and they feel that my son and their child NEED to be together. They also told me that I don't see my son enough and don't do fun things with him. The visitation schedule with my son is none of their business. When I told them that they got mad and wrote me off and continued to try and contact my ex behind my back. Finally my ex and I had to resort to threatening them with a restraining order to stay away from our son. When they realized that they weren't getting anywhere with my ex anymore behind my back they said they don't want anything to with " NONE of us ever again" And my own brother won't speak to me and runs away from me. Can someone please explain why they think my own family tried to do this? Your opinions as to why???Well, my brother and I have had a rocky relationship our whole lives. He is the type who does under handed stuff to people. And I think he has always been a bit jealous of me. No drugs, or alcohol. We used to be close, but now he treats me like I have the plague and I haven't even done anything except tell them to stay out of my business.

Would you wipe a family member for saying this to your Husband?
My Husband had an affair a few years ago and we have worked our way through it etc and are very happy now.My Sister recently broke up with her Husband and I have been helping her to move out etc offering her to come and live with us rent free until she got back on her feet etc, listening endlessly and being there for her.She was telling me how much she loved me and how much she appreciated my help etc, we have had problems in the past with her flipping out on me for no good reason but I finally felt we had reached a end to all that as she said it was her Ex Husband that made her so mad, irrational etc.Well last week she decided to send my Husband an email and tell him that she completely understood why he had had an affair on me and that if she was him she would do the same thing etc. He responded to her saying that he didn't understand where this was coming from and It was between us two as to who was to blame etc my Husband I am I have both taken blame for our parts in it . My Husband did not tell me about this email as to not hurt my feelings.2 days later on the Sunday it was Fathers Day here in Australia, My Sister rang my Husband to wish him a happy Fathers Day and then told him she was going to tell me some home truths and to put me on the hone, he told her not to as we were fine and that he didn't want his Father's Day wrecked this was 8.30am while we were in bed with the kids having breakfast . My sister said to my Husband that she would say anything and just wanted to say hello.I got on the phone and she proceeded to tell me that I was evil, selfish and insane and that I needed help, that I did not deserve my Children or Husband and that my dead Mother thinks the same my Sister thinks she can talk to dead people and my Dead Mother is sending messages through her that I am weak and evil.After I hung up in tears my Husband told me about the email she sent him and showed it to me, needless to say Father's Day sucked big ones, I tried to keep it together but was teary all day. I only have a small family on my side, Me, My Sister and our older Brother.I have had enough of my Sister and her horrible influence in my life. Yes I am not perfect but show me one who is.I did everything I could for her while she was breaking her relationship up to be with someone else she met on Facebook and now she attacks me out of nowhere, I have tried so many times to please my Sister but at the end of the day she does makes me nervous and feel bad about myself.I have decided to wipe her. What do you guys think?

So half my family not going to like him..?
so im with a guy,hes the most amazing guy ive ever met i love him soooo much but the only thing my family are kinda racist my mum has jamaican people in her side of family but like my dad is racist and hes half of family and im not sure how my mum would even react to this as they are all kinda racist and my brothers would get really protective...My boyfriend is half mexican half white im white british what should i doim not ending it with my guy just because of this because i really love him and if they cant except it thats there problem but .. i love my family to

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